The world regards ‘love’ as a want. The Bible states ‘love’ as our source. As unique individuals, our perception of love is different. While one truly believes it’s a necessity, to another it’s a waste of time and energy.
So, what kind of love is the finest kind of love?
It’s the kind that is uncompromising, truly inspiring, kindly imparting, strongly withstanding, fiery fighting, stronghold free and the constantly flowing sort.
Where can we find it?
………‘Within us’!
As Christians have you ever felt at times that the pressure to walk in love is somewhat high?
These days the understanding of Christ -like love is distorted. The love walk is pressure filled when it is enforced. It turns into strain when it’s not natural, but out of responsibility. Add to it religious taught law based doctrines, cultural factor and you get the worst kind of love, ‘the obligatory love’.
The obligatory love creates silent bondage. You experience a push and pull turmoil inside your heart. You worry about what the people in your church would think; your family, society would say. Then, it’s finally what would GOD do to you if you dared say what you think out loud, gave up on the issue, or walked away. A sudden force called guilt fills all over and you decide to stay in the situation; ALL in the name of Godly love. This kind of love lives inside marriages, family, friends, and even acquaintances. Are you hearing a familiar tone?
Individuals stay in marriages; tolerate unacceptable acts of behavior all in the name of Godly love. Someone once said to me, “When it comes to friends and acquaintances, drawing a boundary line is easy, but when it comes to family, we think it’s a ‘sin’. I always thought any attitude that’s biased is wrong?!” The comment got me thinking!
What then is the biblical kind of love?
I came across four kinds of ‘love deed’ (as I like to call it).
a) The ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ love deed~
Mark 12:31~ ‘The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.’
We have heard this verse many at times. What one may look past is the …’as yourself’ bit.
Can you honestly say that you love yourself? If you can then, you are able to love your neighbour unconditionally and consistently eh!?
If you don’t, that is cherishing the self, how then can you learn to love another?
I know of many Christians who struggle with guilt when they choose to think about themselves. They think its selfish to, not Jesus-like and a demonic mentality. They rather walk through life thinking they are walking in love by sacrificing for another, while silently expecting affirmation, experiencing conflicts within; which results in using the bible as a bashing tool, rather than a saving tool.
Getting to know the ‘me’ is very important. Knowing your weakness and strengths are important acts. It is in your weakness, that you find your true self in Christ. Knowing your inner self, with the help of the Holy Spirit, forces the darkness in you to see the light. Then, you experiences love, the neighbourly kind. You don’t judge; you accept. What better way to appreciate God’s love by loving what he loves the most…YOU!
You then begin to see in others what Jesus saw in you, while you were a sinner. Loving them is not optional, because you can’t afford to not love yourself. You know you have reached your goal of meaningful love when you move from ‘me’ to ‘I AM’.
b) The ‘unconditional’ love deed
1 Corinthians 13-4:8~ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
The unconditional love act is that which comes after loving thy neighbour as yourself. You move into a step where love finds a deeper meaning. You begin to realise there is so much to be done for Christ’s kingdom. Your purpose begins to take form and since your heart beats unconditionally, favour opens up doors wherever you go. You carry your true identity knowing full well who you truly belong to. You do, follow, see, and experience unconditional acts.
What really is an unconditional act? It’s committing a noble act without announcing it or keeping an account by remembering or reminding oneself.
You give away your sandwich to your hungry colleague. They accept it with gratitude. Then, few days later, you see them eating something you like and it upsets you when you realise they have no intention to share. Immediately, you think about the ‘sandwich moment’! You make a note to self, never to share with them again.
No more unconditional, isn’t it?
Learn to love by giving without keeping a record of everything you give out. . Be it your time, things, support, love, anything that is worth giving away.
If you don’t get it back the way you gave, always remember that the Lord your God who taught you love; who designed you; and your sole provider has seen it and is pleased in YOUR heart, not your act!
c) The ‘sincere, stand up, fearless’ love deed
Romans 12:9~ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
If you don’t love sincerely, how then can you recognize what is genuine?
I believe the principle of, ‘Let your YES be YES and your NO be NO’ applies to the love walk too. I mentioned before of knowing individuals who stay in abusive, undermining, suppressive relationships, all in the name of Godly love. As Christians we are taught to persevere, never to give up. Therefore, staying in relationships that add no love filled value into their lives.
It’s true; giving up, walking out is not what a religious person would do. But what would Christ want you to truly do?
Well, he would want you to love yourself unashamedly and ask the blunt question openly—Are you sincerely in love or are you doing it in the name of obligation, fear of loneliness, dependency on another or for companionship purposes, instead of giving ALL of self to Jesus?
Whatever be your answer, God is for you. He wants you to cling to all that is good and refreshing. You don’t need to hold on to anything or anyone that pulls you away from your purpose and presence of GOD. When you decide to hate all that is biased and evil said and performed in the name of love, you no longer go numb, and lose all your joy. You begin to transcend from’ forgive them, to, it’s ok to stand up and draw a line and say…. ‘NO MORE!’
d) ‘The ‘restoration’ love deed
This act can only be completed by Jesus. Restoration of estranged relationship is only possible by God. All one can do is pray, sincerely love and be prisoners of hope.
Have you ever experienced estrangement from individuals who were once people whom you valued?
Mathew 10:34- 39~ explains—‘Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn, a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
When you start your journey of faith with love, you experience changes in every areas of your life. In the beginning, you begin to feel all alone. You begin your relationship with Jesus. The Holy Spirit becomes your guide, your counselor. Where there was darkness once, now light shines in and through. You start seeing, feeling emotions you have never felt before. For this purpose, finding yourself becomes a necessity. The people you once valued may no longer be in your life. You are learning LOVE!
New individuals enter, some of the old stay. Jesus knows best!!!
Let go! Stay on your path of purpose of working for the kingdom. Keep your eyes on the Lord. He will keep you safe. What you once thought was love, may not have been sincere. The people whom you once treasured may be required to be moved so as for you to grow and prosper! Jesus will restore if and when the timing is perfect.
Learn by heart– DO EVERYTHING IN LOVE~ (1 Corinthians 16:14)
Leave a Reply to machmeterCancel reply