First dread; then darkness falls. Guilt emanates, decanting from different sizes, shapes and soft spots, into attitudes which affects actions.

Who or what is it that you run towards in desperation, or when feeling trapped?

Blue, an attractive, hardworking, middle aged woman, held the title of: Senior Manager- administration, at a Medical Rehabilitation Centre. When she wasn’t busy working at the centre, she was enjoying herself at home, fulfilling the role of a wife and mother to her successful businessman husband, Red, and her two teenage children: fifteen year old son, Gloom and thirteen year old daughter named Hope.

If leading a contented life meant, having in possession all the things that the world had to offer, then, Blue had it all. From owning four luxury cars, to living in a mansion; a room filled with designer outfits, expensive accessories; and an in-house Jacuzzi, for those days when she needed that extra pampering after work. She was living the high life; which, as a child born into a middle class family, she had wished for would be bestowed upon her, someday. Her wish had been granted to her. Blue’s parents were strict religious Christian believers, who believed you needed to toil to make it; things don’t come to you easily minded, people. Her elder sister Joy had given into her life’s purpose, which was to serve Jesus, wholeheartedly. Joy and her husband, Peace, were travelling evangelists, and were not just content, but prosperity believers.

One day, life had planned to take a detour and in doing so, it managed to create a void in Blue’s daily existence. Red had lost a lucrative tender deal to his rival company which he had be hoping to win. On top of that, he had not managed to receive the lump sum payments due to him for construction work undertaken and completed by him. Before he could file a court case against the company who had owed him money, they had decided to liquidate. It was a huge blow to take for his business, from which Red could not see a comeback.

They lost their luxury cars, since Red had not managed to pay off the car, for reasons Blue could not fathom. Blue managed to sell off most of her valuable possession to help keep them afloat for a few months. She was glad she had a job; as she could afford a two bedroom flat, one bath flat. She kept thinking where and what it was she had done wrong. Why had this happened to her, she had wondered? She tried to stay and seem strong when around her husband and children. She regretted not doing enough charity work. She was lost in her thoughts, always thinking, trying to figure out what she should have done to prevent such a mishap.

Blue, tried to be positive, but her son Gloom, had gone into a mental shock after seeing all that they had owned been taken away, the cars, the mansion he had grown up in. It all had hit him hard, emotionally and mentally. He had to be put on heavy anti-depressants drugs. Day by day, his functioning powers were declining; while his dependency on the drugs was growing.

Hope had managed to rely on her own skills and had maintained a positive outlook towards what had happened to her family by, thanking God and reassuring everyone that she had been glad that they were not out living on the streets. She had even held a garage sale to sell off most of her cherished belongings to contribute to the family, financially. She took up menial jobs around her new neighbourhood, like mowing lawns, lending her hands to anyone who was in need of an extra pair of hands to clean out their messy garage. She even managed to organise tuition classes and teach Maths to some of the neighbourhood kids.

Red depended on alcohol to try to numb his pain and choose to drown in his shame by reliving what had happened in his mind. When Blue wasn’t looking, he would reach into her purse to steal some money. He did not want to ask Blue for money to buy alcohol, because he already knew how she would react. Blue would never understand my situation, thought Red. When Red could no longer stand the twinge, he had decided to take his own life ad relieve Blue from her misery, by jumping off the building he had constructed and which was previously owned by the company who had failed to pay him.

The story above is just an example to illustrate the dependency tendency of a human beings, when darkness falls over them.

The chapter ‘Job’ in the Bible depicts one such man, Job, who had everything, then, lost it all. It was his test. Of course, he had not eavesdropped on the conversations that lead to his circumstances being altered. However, I wonder if he did manage to overhear the talk, would he have reacted the same way he did towards the end of his hardship phase?

Speaking from my past experience, running towards something when cornered is not optional; it’s mandatory. It’s a natural reaction, automatically triggered by any negative conflict that may occur in one’s life. Our attitudes, words, post actions deeds, are all which we use and apply to the situations that follow, leaving the accountability part for us to bear.

I find many at times, trying to be strong is the hardest and the worst move to make. Lying to self is always detrimental to one’s well being. If you can’t deal with it, accept it; seek help, guidance and support. The healing process begins when you eradicate the lies you tell; wherein your feat starts to align with your bearing.

Look around you, there are many people fighting a similar battle like the one you are enduring today. ‘They’ say, “No one, but only you can help you out, during your troubled times.” ‘I’ say, “Behold! It is only true and applies to those individuals who choose to rest their faith in self; not in Jesus! When you call upon his name, Jesus not only shows up; he will make sure he shows off his dominance over this world. Deliverance will no longer just apply towards the matter for which you had been struggling with; it will surpass onto every area of your being.
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Remember: You are already redeemed, saved from the conditions you are facing. All that is needed of you to do is to: pass the test without cheating or giving up half way through. Strive on, with the intention of receiving your final, ‘exceeded without any doubt’ grade. The preparation to face the battles had already set in motion in you, the day you decided to carry your cross and follow your graceful God. The key to winning the battle is to apply the knowledge and wisdom, which has been bestowed on you.

2 Corinthians 4:8 says (KJV), “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.

Blue depended on doubt. Red depended on his loss and humiliation. Gloom depended on his worldly desires. Hope depended on her capabilities. The bottom-line is each one of the fictitious character had their eyes set on ‘I’ and ‘You’. In their minds, they were a ‘We’, but not in principle.

Fear can be a slow killer. Facing the evil that boxes you into a corner can generate an excruciating ache all over your body, leaving you numb. The only cure would be to soak the self into the Word everyday; seeking the restorative therapy for each one of the affliction causing sentiment. It’s a time consuming process; nevertheless a laudable, fruitful one.

Keep in mind, 1 Corinthian 14:33, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace….”

Isaiah 60:3 says, “And nations will come to your light and kings to the brightness of thy light.

In your darkest moments, drowning in darkness is not the apt approach. Raising your light will increases the warmth in you; consequently, amplifying your brightness.